Alone at last

Ever have a day when you just want to be by yourself and process things? I know, with a blog url like "lonelyhomesteader" I shouldn't be complaining about having to wait for my alone time, but I'm an introvert with four kids. Husband here or husband in basic training, I'm going to want my space sometimes.

Today was very long and very tiring in a lot of ways. I got up at 5:30 because I needed to fill the water trough from which I bucket water to the animals, and I didn't want that to make chores last late into the morning because I knew my parents were coming over. Before dad arrived I filled up the van with trash to take to the transfer station (it's not too far so we don't pay for a trash pickup), and once he and mom were here I took off to get rid of that. I stopped at the feed mill on the way home for more bedding for us and some chicken feed for mom and dad. Then I helped dad help me continue the process of getting a buried power line out to the barn--by next summer, no more extension cords stretched hither and yon across the property! (Except, of course, where necessary.) That was cold, cold work, with the temperatures still in the teens and the wind blowing the beginnings of a snow storm across our ridge. Romex is even less cooperative than normal in the cold, and all you think about is when you can put your gloves back on, if not go in the house. We made good progress, though, despite the demoralizing nature of shivering...

I saw something pretty discouraging today. My old, old horse, Ameer, is growing lots of melanomas. Now gray horses like Ameer get melanomas very commonly. Sometimes they grow fast, sometimes they grow slow, sometimes they start and stop. Ameer's started showing up a few years ago; I had him looked at and was told that it was pretty normal and there wasn't too much to do except hope none of them interfered with his vital functions. The one of particular concern was on his anus; if it got to big it could make it hard for him to poop, and over time he would try not to poop, give himself an impaction, and the end would come.

Well, today the melanoma bled and left a big blood stain on a little of his manure. He stopped pooping before he was done and held it about fifteen minutes before he let it out; I'm afraid this is the beginning of the end. I feed him oil on his feed both to help him keep weight on and to lubricate his manure, so I'm increasing that (might add a smidge of mineral oil to the canola too, just to increase the laxative effects), but there really isn't much to be done according to the vets. But! I have found that there is a drug that can help; I will talk to the vet Monday about ordering a months' supply of Cimitidine (developed as an antacid!) which is said to reduce and even eliminate gray horse melanomas. I'm told that if it is going to work I will see a dramatic improvement within a month of daily doses, and I feel that it would be irresponsible to not spend $40 to try one last means of saving my old friend. He's actually doing better than I expected this winter--he's been drinking close to 10 gallons of water each day (better than he did all summer or last winter) and he's put on some weight. I can't just let go now. I just hope I didn't find out too late.

Anyway, the bloody stool episode cast a bit of a pall over the rest of the day but there was no time to sit down and cry; I still had to milk the cow (I got a little over a gallon total today), make some cheese (basically just curds, having a hard time with temperature regulation on the wood stove so I couldn't do anything fancy like mozz), soak beans and chickpeas so tomorrow I can cook a huge amount of legumes in bone broth, do evening chores (including milking the cow again) and shovel out the driveway so at least there will be less to shovel in the morning. Tea Rose quite insistently helped with chores, despite my frequent protestations that I didn't mind doing them myself and she should go warm up, and Bean shoveled a path from the house to the barn and also shoveled part of the driveway for me, bless his soul. All my muscles are tired now (though to be fair they woke up tired, I went to the Y and made them do things yesterday!) and I can finally sit in the living room and drink my raw milk cocoa in perfect solitude. (Well, except that Kensie fell asleep on the couch again... but she's not causing much trouble or even snoring a lot. It's really not perfect solitude, but it's good enough.)


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    1. Thank you! Also--Congratulations on being my first blog commenter! <3

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