Today was a long one, folks. We got ready for church in record time, but when I stepped outside to turn on the car... no dice! One of the kids had climbed in to find some toy or book and had left a door cracked. The battery was dead. Fortunately I have a handy battery charger that you charge up at a wall plug and can keep in the trunk for just such emergencies; I tried it out for the first time and it worked like a charm! It only cost me about 5 minutes... but we were 2 minutes late for Sunday School. C'est la vie. Anyway, after Sunday School and a very engaging sermon there was the potluck luncheon (filled with wonderful people willing to watch my kids while I got food or to hold my many, many plates at the food line). The annual meeting followed (is it just me or were there a lot of church annual meetings today? Because I know of at least 3 or 4 and they aren't even all in my city). I kept the kids still as long as I could but gave in and evacuated the sanctuary before the pastor was quite done--sorry! Dilly was already in beast mode and Kensie wasn't going to be far behind!
All this meant that I got home well after normal lunch chore time. The front door had to be unlocked so I could hang up my church coat, ditch my kicks, replace my sweater with a flannel, put on barn coat, then back out the door and into mud boots--all before the sow could start screaming for her lunch. (I did it, but it was close.) Then the rest of noon chores could commence at a slightly more decorous pace. the extra board I put up at the front of Ameer's stall was enough to keep the calf from climbing through and thence out of the barn, so he had contented himself with taking all the trash out of the trash bag and scattering it all over the barn. I swear he's like somebody else's toddler. (Mine knows better than to scatter trash!)
By the time lunch chores were done it was time to think about our dinner. I'd made meatballs yesterday and we had absolutely decadent meatball subs with homemade mozzarella, and I had enough meatballs left for another meal, so I made pasta (really thick linguine?) for the kids and a little ramekin of meatballs with more mozz on top for myself. (I try to eat low carb... sometimes I fail... but a couple minutes in the toaster oven and with that stretchy, melty mozzarella, I don't even miss the pasta.) And then it was time for dinner dishes, and then it was time for evening chores. Already, yes, I know! But if I put it off any later I'd be doing chores past the kids bedtime and I will not have that. So the critters got a couple of meals pretty close together. Tea Rose came out to help me, which was good, except she wanted to talk.
Now I'm going to say I've been really proud of my attitude with the kids since Dad left. The stress before he left really got to me and I was constantly fighting to keep my words and tone civil, if not pleasant. Since he left, believe it or not, I've been a lot less stressed. And what I told the kids about being kind to each other? I meant it. So I have made sure to take extra care to be calm and pleasant and cheerful, and most days I've been feeling it, too! Today, however, was not one of those days. I don't know if it was the disruption of the chore schedule or a hormonal factor or what, but my fuse was short and I knew it. So after discussing what big cats live in the Americas and how to pronounce Peru, I finally had to tell Tea, "Honey, I love you, but mom's really cranky this evening. She's trying really hard to be civil, but the best way to stay civil is probably for her to stay quiet for a while." She tried to engage me a couple more times but I repeated my request for quiet and she eventually went back in to read.
Is that bad? Maybe, but I think it's better than continuing to answer questions while wishing she'd go away and leave me alone. It's better than letting my tone get more and more of that edge to it until I'm outright snapping. I'm generally excellent at choosing my words, I really almost never get insulting in my impatience or frustration, but I have a very hard time with my tone and when I know it's a losing battle sometimes I choose not to fight. While I still have some calm left, I use it to give fair warning and evacuate my immediate vicinity of sensitive young ears. If that's wrong I don't know how to be right. The interaction ended with her leaving, but not angry and not crying. I guess it could have been worse. I'll try to have a better frame of mind tomorrow.
Now I'm hanging out by the woodstove with my poor dog Vic. She's still an awkward puppy but she has got some strength and speed, and you should hear her bark at joggers! It's enough to make your blood run cold. She still wishes I were a kangaroo so she could crawl inside my pouch and stay there forever, but I love her anyway.
All this meant that I got home well after normal lunch chore time. The front door had to be unlocked so I could hang up my church coat, ditch my kicks, replace my sweater with a flannel, put on barn coat, then back out the door and into mud boots--all before the sow could start screaming for her lunch. (I did it, but it was close.) Then the rest of noon chores could commence at a slightly more decorous pace. the extra board I put up at the front of Ameer's stall was enough to keep the calf from climbing through and thence out of the barn, so he had contented himself with taking all the trash out of the trash bag and scattering it all over the barn. I swear he's like somebody else's toddler. (Mine knows better than to scatter trash!)
By the time lunch chores were done it was time to think about our dinner. I'd made meatballs yesterday and we had absolutely decadent meatball subs with homemade mozzarella, and I had enough meatballs left for another meal, so I made pasta (really thick linguine?) for the kids and a little ramekin of meatballs with more mozz on top for myself. (I try to eat low carb... sometimes I fail... but a couple minutes in the toaster oven and with that stretchy, melty mozzarella, I don't even miss the pasta.) And then it was time for dinner dishes, and then it was time for evening chores. Already, yes, I know! But if I put it off any later I'd be doing chores past the kids bedtime and I will not have that. So the critters got a couple of meals pretty close together. Tea Rose came out to help me, which was good, except she wanted to talk.
Now I'm going to say I've been really proud of my attitude with the kids since Dad left. The stress before he left really got to me and I was constantly fighting to keep my words and tone civil, if not pleasant. Since he left, believe it or not, I've been a lot less stressed. And what I told the kids about being kind to each other? I meant it. So I have made sure to take extra care to be calm and pleasant and cheerful, and most days I've been feeling it, too! Today, however, was not one of those days. I don't know if it was the disruption of the chore schedule or a hormonal factor or what, but my fuse was short and I knew it. So after discussing what big cats live in the Americas and how to pronounce Peru, I finally had to tell Tea, "Honey, I love you, but mom's really cranky this evening. She's trying really hard to be civil, but the best way to stay civil is probably for her to stay quiet for a while." She tried to engage me a couple more times but I repeated my request for quiet and she eventually went back in to read.
Is that bad? Maybe, but I think it's better than continuing to answer questions while wishing she'd go away and leave me alone. It's better than letting my tone get more and more of that edge to it until I'm outright snapping. I'm generally excellent at choosing my words, I really almost never get insulting in my impatience or frustration, but I have a very hard time with my tone and when I know it's a losing battle sometimes I choose not to fight. While I still have some calm left, I use it to give fair warning and evacuate my immediate vicinity of sensitive young ears. If that's wrong I don't know how to be right. The interaction ended with her leaving, but not angry and not crying. I guess it could have been worse. I'll try to have a better frame of mind tomorrow.
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