The Grocery Question

Time sure flies when you're exhausted and have more responsibilities than you've ever handled in all your life! We've reached a degree of equilibrium here on the homestead. I get about half a gallon of milk from Apple every day. Ameer gets three meals 8 hours apart so he gets his dosage of cimetidine spread out appropriately (still not sure if it's working but it's only been about 2 weeks at the current dosage and schedule). The hundred gallon stock tank and the 30 gallon auxiliary stock tank have to get filled approximately every other day, which tells you how many 5 gallon buckets of water I carry into the barn to be converted into bovine and equine urine which then must be absorbed by adequate bedding and removed by the sled full. Summer is so much easier, guys--imagine if hoses never froze and the cattle all peed on the grass! Sigh.

Some folks who read this blog have followed my facebook story for a few years; if so you may be aware that I maintain a tradition of not shopping for normal groceries over the winter. I stock up on staples over the summer and typically limit my winter purchases to $10/week for vegetables and fruit. This tradition started the first winter of Bean's life, when Dad's only income was from snow plowing and it didn't snow much. We went weeks and weeks without a paycheck, overdrew the account right after Christmas, and lived lean on frozen meat and turnips from the garden because we literally could not buy a bag of potatoes! (I'll never forget when friends came to dinner with the ingredients for their specialty sour cream and chive mashed potatoes--and left the whole bag of potatoes for us to continue to enjoy!) Spring brought renewed landscaping work for Dad and a return to regular grocery shopping, but I never forgot that long, dry winter and the stringy bitterness of those turnips (they grew in summer, guys--totally different story from sweet autumn turnips).

Since then, every winter I have used the natural cycle of quiet and rest as a motivation to save money, grow our self reliance, and fully utilize the foods that I would be hoarding either way (guys, all Christmas season Aldi and Wegmans have all purpose flour for $.99/bag and sometimes less--I stock up big time and so should you!) I've found the practice to be excellent discipline, a great way to keep money in the bank, and good practice. When we first moved to the homestead Dad went weeks without income while he trained for the new job, and we were spending like crazy trying to get ourselves and the animals settled into a neglected flip house that we knew wasn't ready and was, in fact, even less ready than we thought. I spent most of that summer following my previous practice of buying almost nothing from the grocery store, and you know what? it was easy. Despite the stress of putting down a kitchen floor while still cooking three meals a day from scratch, or of using a hot plate and/or griddle for every meal, or of trying to weed a very inadequately rotortilled garden, I could buckle down and keep everybody fed without even the temptation to run out and buy even groceries, let alone takeout, because I'm used to this.

That said, this year I've done things a bit differently. Because Dad was leaving in mid January I chose not to start the season of reduced spending until February; it would have been too much logistical work to get adequately stocked by January first. So I finished my stocking up after he left and intend to run my annual "Season of Want" from February 1-April 30th, with some slight modifications for occasions like my birthday.

Why would I do this to myself? I'm already stressed and pressed for time, it seems like this would be an excellent time to start exploring the world of convenience food. I have a few reasons for my choice, and I hope enumerating them will help me stay motivated to stick to it!

1. Food security is my anxiety medication. Knowing that I have food set aside and the ability to use it makes me feel good. I know that if coronavirus comes to Syracuse, the kids and I could stay on this property for months if need be and not risk exposure. Getting snowed in is so much fun when you've got everything you need right in your cellar! I wouldn't be leaving the house anyway, so I just buckle down and enjoy it and maybe make a special treat like pizza and wings, or chocolate chip cookies. And the bills don't hit me the same way when I know I won't have to spend a penny for two weeks until the next paycheck.

2. On a related note, it helps me feel I'm doing my part for the family finances. I'll be honest, it's a major pay cut to go from full time truck driving to basic training. Because of our large family we don't have it as bad as some other enlisted military families, but it's still a financial hit; I feel better about that knowing that I can do my part and be a good steward of our resources while he's gone. With wise spending our savings will still be largely intact when he comes home.

3. I'm trying to recognize what is a necessary crutch and what is an unnecessary luxury. There's a big difference. A couple of times already I've been stressed because of plans falling through and have wanted nothing more than to not worry about dinner. But I already had ground beef thawed or what have you, so I went ahead and made dinner anyhow, and you know what? It was fine! Ordering pizza or throwing chicken nuggets in the oven would have been easier, but what would it have really saved me? Probably 20 minutes of work, that's what. (And by the way, this beef stew with dumplings idea made it worth it--so good when you're snowed in and want a full belly!) Because I spend such long periods of time making everything from scratch, I am really quick and efficient in the kitchen. No brag, just fact.

4. Now more than ever, I want my family to stay healthy! Convenience foods come without bones for bone broth; they're loaded with soy fat that our bodies don't know what to do with and with weird forms of sodium and sugar (you guys. So much sugar.) All that stuff takes a toll on the immune system and on all of our bodies' systems. We have had two (2) colds since October, guys, and compared to a lot of people I've talked to, that's a really good streak! And if I want the kids to eat healthy I have to come up with a fruit or vegetable to go with their chicken patty sandwiches or hot pockets, which, because i multitask well, means that I spend as much time on food prep with "convenience food" as I would just cooking something wholesome from scratch. Do I love occasionally tossing nuggets and frozen fries in the oven? You betcha! Is it worth the cost of money, time and health for me? Honestly, no. And unlike me when I was a kid, my kids actually prefer homemade. They are so excited that I won't be buying any more bread from WalMart (I love the 24 count "French Steak Rolls", good value for bread that isn't horrible in every sense of the word) because now they get to eat my sourdough for their morning toast, their lunch sandwich, and often their cinnamon toast snack before bed! They can't get enough of my sourdough.

5. I don't want to get behind on my learning and self reliance goals. Someday my goal is to grow even more of our own food, buy in bulk what we can't grow, and grocery shop only for true luxuries like seafood and curly fries. (If you want a more detailed look at my annual season without groceries, check out this post.) If I took the easy route this winter and kept buying kielbasse and day old bread from WalMart, and allowed myself frequent indulgence in takeout, I wouldn't be making the progress I'm making on learning to make better dumpling wrappers and bean soup; I wouldn't be wracking my brain for deep memories like apples and onions to go with a pork chop (the kids love this, and I actually like it more than I expected to); in short, while I would certainly be gaining self-reliance in some areas, I'd be missing opportunities to learn in others.

So there's the skinny, folks. Am I nuts? Sure. Is that ok?... I don't even know at this point. But this is who I am and it shows no sign of changing. I hope that all my hard work and thoughtful stewardship pays major dividends when Dad comes home and we can get back to working toward our long term dreams.

Before I go, a last bit of news: last Thursday night Dad was able to call home. What an emotional moment that was! I've never been so happy to hear someone's voice, and I could tell he was choked up, too. We talked about the animals and the snow storm that was coming. Then he asked to talk to the kids... haha. They'd been in bed for an hour already. I went upstairs and first roused Tea Rose. "Daddy's on the phone!" I told her over and over. She smiled and went back to sleep a couple times, then rallied enough to say "Hi daddy!" He asked her some questions and I fed her the answers, but her brain was not in gear at all. As for Kensie, well, I tried, but she never stopped snoring. Bean smiled from ear to ear when I gave him the phone but I don't think he spoke a word, he just listened to Dad's questions and then went back to sleep. In the morning none of them remembered a thing, but they were happy when I told them they had talked with daddy. Oh well. It was a very exciting evening. I'm not sure if or when I can expect it to happen again but I'll treasure what opportunities I get.

Thanks to everyone who's been praying! As of tomorrow we're a whole month into this, and with God's help we can get through.